Gam-O-Rama!

Cocktail Cuties

2012-02-16T22:38:00.000-08:00

...for every taste!

By RJB Photo, of course!

Scrapbook Secrets

2012-02-08T22:51:00.000-08:00

Hello, my loved ones! I was going through my super-secret scrapbook and found some old fotos, long-forgotten how-to tips, frisky French follies and more fun stuff from my formative years that I simply had to share...all in a pink and red color scheme especially for February! XOXO

Fun with fur!

A must-read!

Ooh-La-Oui!


Punch line

Magazine rack

I love a little pussy

Wink Wink! Titter Titter!

2012-02-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

Pinup art by Peter Driben

La Mode

2012-02-05T22:40:00.000-08:00

...a la Marie Claire!

Wham, Sam!

2012-01-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

...Dig them Gams! My new favorite tune!

Catchy, ain't it? That's Mable Lee showing off those sassy gams of hers!

Eye Candy

2012-01-23T12:05:00.000-08:00

Much too glamorous to hide under the mattress!

More! More! More! Vintage Burlesk here!

Three Smokin' Chicks

2012-01-22T21:13:00.000-08:00

Candee

Masuimi

Dayna

Brought to you by Dr.Sizzle

Fallen Jewel

2012-01-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

It's a wrap! After much anticipation, Fallen Jewel, starring the one and only Waxie Moon, will be premiering at the Out In the Desert Film Festival...an LGBT event taking place in Tucson, Arizona next month! You probably already know that Waxie is one of my most adorable, lovable, wonderful, talented, hilarious and inspirational pals, as well as a Seattle burlesque icon...and this new project is sure to bring her international acclaim! Producer/director Wes Hurley posted a few promo shots from the film and I simply had to share them!

...Relaxing at home with Waxie...

...Hanging out with hot-n-sexy Ernie Von Schmaltz and his man-van!

...A dramatic moment with petite Inga Ingenue...the Little Blonde Bomb!

...Waxie beaming at her beau!

...Doesn't this look like a fun ride?? Can't wait!

Congrats to Waxie and Wes for completing this faaabulous project! And if YOU are lucky enough to be in or around Tucson next month, make sure you go see Fallen Jewel! You might even spy your pal Gams in a scene or two! Mwah!

Dedication to A Pussy

2012-01-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

I love this. I think I'll nickname my pussy Rex!

Good Housekeeping

2012-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

Remember my pink trompe-l'œil apron? It's turning out to be a real workhorse! I've worn it on several occasions and it's always such a hit that I dared to wear it again last month in my role as housekeeping hostess of Vacancy: A Burlesque Tale of Holiday Travel. I recently received these pictures from the show, and naturally assumed you'd enjoy seeing the apron in action!!

Do note, if you will, darlings, my long-line Playtex Living Gloves, size S, in a stunning shade of pink! With my trusty duster at hand, I'm ready to go to work!

It's a good thing they have me to pick up empty bottles laying around and...hey...what's so funny?

Oh, I know I look cute now...

...but just watch as I get drunker...

...and drunker...

...and drunker!

I did manage to fool one or two unsuspecting audience members into thinking I was tipsier than I really was! My friends, however, are apparently so used to seeing me be the life of the party, they thought nothing of it.

Many thanks to photographer Ralph Gayle for glorifying the Gams!

Durante in Drag

2012-01-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

The first Danse Apache of the year! Yes, that's Jimmy Durante, darlings, and yes! I'm still cracking up!

Everybody's Girl

2012-01-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of biographies, but never really understood why someone would want to go to the trouble of researching and writing 500-some pages of facts about a person they never knew. That is, until...

Sometime last year, my personal hairdresser, Mr. Angelo, handed me an old newspaper clipping about a vintage burlesque queen known as Gay Dawn...

...along with a few small, candid snapshots of her, taken by a fan (who shall remain nameless), some years after she retired her pasties and g-string...

I've been smitten ever since! According to the article, Miss Dawn hails from a little lumber town near the Washington coast called Hoquiam, which butts right up against another little town known as Aberdeen, almost famous now for being the hometown of a young man named Kurt Cobain...

Not just another pretty peeler, Gay Dawn had a career in burlesque spanning over 15 years, starting in 1950 at the Follies Theatre in L.A...

...playing burly-q theatres in the USA from Minsky's in Newark, NJ to The Rivoli in Seattle...

...and everywhere in between: Boston, St.Louis, Baltimore, Cleveland, San Francisco, Oakland, and more. So popular was she, in fact, that she even starred in a movie called "Everybody's Girl"...

...and had plenty of press coverage, if not clothing coverage...

...as well as some cheeky cheesecake! Isn't she lovely?

But whatever happened to lovely Miss Gay Dawn? I see she passed away in 1998, in Juneau, Alaska. The newspaper article references a daughter whom she named Gayleen and groomed to be a pageant princess, however, I think the former Miss Tujunga may have given up on pageants to join the police force. Further searches for either of them were fruitless. Does anyone out there have any clues or other information to help me with my Search For Gay Dawn? For some reason, I feel an affinity towards her, and finally, I know how it feels to be passionate enough and curious enough to attempt writing a life story about a perfect stranger. I'm not saying I'll ever write it...but hey, she loved show biz and money! Now, that's what I call Blonde Ambition, darlings.

I was lucky enough to find this video clip from good ol' Something Weird...so now, for your pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, may I present Everybody's Girl, Miss Gay Dawn!

Poster Post 2012

2012-01-02T21:03:00.000-08:00

Our SALON party season is already well underway, and I've already created several posters...

...and now I'm proud to say I've graduated to burlesque show posters! Here's my first attempt...

Well, lookie there! Not only did I get to design the poster, but I get to host the show, as well! Yay!

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hope it's a blowout! Love, Gams XOXO

Family Albums

2011-12-24T20:32:00.000-08:00

Aaahhh! Christmas Eve...let's gather 'round the tree and listen to all our favorite holiday tunes! It's just the four of us...Mom, Dad, Brother and Sis...safe and sound...home for the holidays!

We can hang out in our jammies if we want, because it's just the four of us...safe and sound...home for the holidays!

Oh, hey...listen...mums the word on the laming-fay ed-ray air-hay, ok? Mommy says, when Clancy the Mailman Comes to Our House, he always stuffs junk in her box...but for now it's just the four of us...safe and sound...home for the holidays!

Grandma and Grandpa arrive wearing the finest in loungewear...and now it's just the six of us...safe and sound...home for the holidays!

Bo-o-o-r-r-r-i-ng! Will somebody puh-leeze call in the crazy relatives so we can get this party started?
Merry Christmas, y'all! XOXO

Dear Santa...

2011-12-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

...These are also on my Xmas list!

However, I'd happily settle for those white go-go boots...just sayin'. Your pal, Gams

Opulent Ornaments

2011-12-19T02:28:00.000-08:00

One for every day 'til Xmas!

Find more glamorous glass ornaments here!

Thank You, Jesus!

2011-12-17T16:45:00.000-08:00

Holy Snowballs! Here are a few more terrific pics from Sunday's Match Game Re-bar, this time taken by my pal Jackie Kingsbury!

Here I am gettin' Jesus good and juiced up before the show...

Here's my number...see me singing my heart out? Howbout that brand-new Match Game Re-bar sign??

Incoming!! Here I am, throwing a direct hit...right to the ol' bean! What an arm!

Thank God Jesus is cool! Thank you, Jesus! You da Man!

Oh, dear...that's me reprimanding Sida Gravy! You can probably tell, Sida is a witty and charismatic guest, but...holy shit! What a mess!

And this pretty much sums it all up...

There's No Balls Like Snowballs

2011-12-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

Hello darlings! The holiday season just wouldn't be the same without a Snowball Fight with Jesus, and that's exactly what we did yesterday afternoon during a special matinee Match Game Re-bar! Your pal Gams was dressed for the occasion...of course! How do you like my polka-dot mini-apron that I stitched together the night before? Cute, huh? I even remembered my mittens!

So, do you think 2 pm on a Sunday is a good time to start the drinks flowing? "Yeth, indeedy!", according to my companion, Dr. Preacher Col. Rufus T. Harenutt, Esquire!
For those about to snowball Jesus, we salute you!!

Our snowballs were only made of foam, but it was certainly a thrill when I beamed good ol' Hay-soos directly in the noggin, almost knocking off his thorny crown! (Don't worry...I'm sure there's no permanent harm.) And, thank God, He really liked my special song written for the occasion...would you like to hear it? Too bad...you only get the lyrics, but if you happen to know that holiday favorite "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas", go ahead and sing along!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
It's naughty but it's nice...
It's not untoward to hit the Lord
With rock-hard balls of ice!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
If you think you've got the nerve...
Then Holy Fuck, you'd better duck
He throws a wicked curve!

Yo-ho! The yellow snow! found under a tree
Roll it into a ball, throw it at J.C.!

It's a snowball fight with Jesus
And in case I wasn't clear...
It's alright to have a snowball fight with Jesus this year!

Mwahhhs! to my pal Tamara for the great pics!

Live Models

2011-12-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Meet the inspirations behind Gil Elvgren's famous pin-ups!

Found at my favorite time-waster!

Delicious Dangles

2011-12-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

May I nibble your ear, darling?

Taste more here!

Lil' Smokies

2011-12-08T15:56:00.000-08:00

By Freike Janssen

It's That Time of Year...

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

...for the wonder and joy of holiday gift shopping! I'm annoyed already, how about you? I think it's about time for my Xmas Shopping Song!

Holiday Favorites

2011-12-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

Have a helluva happy holiday season with these fine recordings...

Found at one of my very favoritest spots on the net...
LP Cover Lover!

Glamorous Beast

2011-12-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

That's quite enough of that pop shit...how about just as glamorous but much more cerebral...?? Here's a Manic Expressionism portrait of my fabulous friend Cherry Sur Bete, created by another fabulous friend, Joriah Goad.
Feel the glamour!!!

Joriah's latest project: The Life Infinato, features your pal Gams, among over 50 other divine beings......

The completed project will soon be released, but in the meantime, here's the trailer, which will give you an idea of his vision. And keep your eye peeled for my visage...from another time...in another place...

Pretty Glamdamerous!

2011-12-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

Holy shit! How did I ever miss this???

Just Because

2011-12-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

The very latest, darlings! You simply must watch...just because.

Organzagasm!

2011-12-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

Darlings, I've been going cuckoo with costuming this week, and I'm happy to say I've just completed a new holiday outfit which I cannot wait to wear tonight for The Return of The Anita Goodmann Experience Holiday Special...now qualifying for the longest name of any holiday show in history!

As you can see there on the poster: 'Gams Galore croons a tune'...and this year I've written yet another festive song for my two favorite drag queens...one which I'm sure will set just the right holiday mood! Here are the lyrics for your eyes only...and I think, even without the music, this one will ring a bell!

Have Yourself A Very Tranny Christmas
Let your feet be light...
From now on your package will be out of sight...

Have Yourself a Very Tranny Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay...
From now on your troubles will be tucked away...

Just imagine ol' Santy Claus being Tranny Claus, spreading cheer...
Faithful friends who are dear to you are cross-dressing too this year!

Hopefully cosmetics will preserve you
If the fates allow...
Place your biggest wig upon the highest bough!
And Have Yourself a Very Tranny Christmas now!

Sentimental, eh? (Apologies to Miss Cassie O'Hara, as she is mightily opposed to the term 'Tranny', preferring 'Drag Queen' ...which didn't have anywhere near the same pizzazz lyric-wise.)

As for my costume, I found some bright red stretch satin that I made into a 'wiggle' skirt...tight and tapered to just below the knee...paired it with a black velvet bustier (thank you Forever 21!) and, the pièce de résistance - a big floofy cummerbund sash made from shimmering red organza with flocked black polka dots that I fell head over heels for! Oh! Oh! Every time I look at it I have an Organzagasm!!

...Next, a snappy cappy from the same stuff...satin, organza and velvet! How about that big bow? I'll be taking a bow for that bow. Bow wow wow!

Hopefully I'll have some pics of the full-on ensemble to share with you later...in the meantime, m'lovelies, stay warm and remember: Gams loves You! XOXO!

Boots & Bumbershoots

2011-11-26T11:58:00.000-08:00

Rain, Rain you don't have to go away
You can stay and stay day after day!
I'll mix and match fancy rubber Boots
With a fabulous selection of Bumbershoots!

Turkey Time

2011-11-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

This is the only thing I wish to do to a Turkey today!

Today, and everyday, I am soooo THANKFUL for all my wonderful pals! Have a glamorous Thanksgiving, my darlings! MWAHHHH! XOXO

Match Schtick

2011-11-22T20:06:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday night marked the second big Match Game of the season...now in its fabulous new home...Re-bar!! So far there's been a great turnout and we've recruited some new fans along the way, so thaaaat's good...the only thing I miss is drink service...and snacking during the show, since they don't cook anything at Re-bar except Bacon!

Aaanyway...I donned my most mysterious black wig and eyepatch for this month's James Bond theme...

...then made my getaway to Re-bar to enjoy some martinis (shaken, not stirred) along with the antics of this month's special guests...The Ghost of Amy Whinehouse...the scourge of the Galore dynasty, Penis Galore...and everyone's favorite Naughty Nazi, Gaydolf Hitler!

Here I am with the sensationally seductive Miss Anita Poussé...

...aaaand...amazing vocalist Adé!

We die-hard Match Game fans are a courteous group who always make sure to dress for the occasion...

Just don't piss us off or we get very...very...ANGRY!!!

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for December, when the traditional holiday theme is a Snowball Fight with Jesus...and a certain U-No-Hoo will be a very special guest herself with a very special holiday song...hmmm...I wonder who it could be???

Don't forget to take a peek at my Good Answer blog on Tumblr for oodles of answer cards from Match Game! And I think that's enough of the black wig for this year...I have to get back to concentrating on my BLONDE AMBITION!!! for cryin' out loud!
Gaydolf pic courtesy Tony James

Let's Bring Back...

2011-11-20T16:08:00.000-08:00

Darlings, wouldn't it be heavenly fun to bring back such intriguing, hidden messages with gloves, hankies and parasols...along with many other forgotten customs, fashions and frivolities? Don't you miss some of the cool stuff we had...and especially what we never had? We are not alone! I recently picked up a marvelous book from my everlovin' local library, called "Let's Bring Back", by Lesley M.M.Blume. It's been out about a year now, but I hadn't seen it before, and if you haven't had the pleasure, here's a delightful little teaser that should inspire you hunt it down at your local library or bookseller! Trez Divoon!

You can also check out Lesley's column in the Huffington Post.

Ladies Who Lingerie

2011-11-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

Art by Caroline Smith...see more here!

Ring-A-BlingBling!

2011-11-17T14:26:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Cinderella...if The Prince liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it! I bet this one would have done the trick!

Silly Stepsisters

2011-11-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

I'd give my left glass slipper to have stepsisters as delightfully evil and wicked as Alice Ghostley and Kaye Ballard!

War Brides

2011-11-11T16:43:00.000-08:00

Don't ask...don't tell!

Many thanks to our Veterans today!

Groovie Movie!

2011-11-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

Hey, all you Able Grables and Hunks o'Heartbreak...do you love noggin-bopping and pigtail-pulling? Do you consider yourself quite the Pepper Shaker? Well, all-reet! Here's a cute instructional video for the Jitterbug...The Dance of Modern Youth...which, I feel, must be revived immediately, along with colorful lingo like "Rusty Dusty" and "Dislocate your dream-box, Bud"! Ok, Worm...let's squirm!

Millinery Madness!

2011-11-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Amusing hats from the 50's...created by Chicago's Mad Hatter, Benjamin B. Green-Field...aka Bes-Ben!

Day Brightener!

2011-11-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I was already in love with Exene, but this adorable video makes me love her all the more! Hope it brightens your day, darlings! Mwah!!

Whore Horror

2011-11-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

Jackie Hell knows a Whore when she sees one!

Yes, well...if that was a little uncomfortable for some of you more sensitive viewers, just keep in mind that Jackie's really not so tempermental if you catch her on a good day!

Dead Time

2011-11-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

I hope all my darlings had a wonderfully spooky Halloween!
I didn't do much on the 31st, but I did have fun hosting a Dia de los Muertos celebration the following night.

Not sure what to wear on such an occasion, I threw together a little red-and-black lingerie with a pompom'd tutu to make a dress of sorts...then I added black stockings, boots and, of course, my beloved Belltown Betty jean jacket with its pink skull design!

But the pièce de résistance was my floral headpiece!

This was sooooo easy, I made it in well under an hour...not counting the part where I had to drive to two different craft stores to find the kind of silk roses I was searching for.

I picked three of 'em...two red and one pink...then, with the help of my reliable ol' pal, Glu Gunn, I arranged them into a little bouquet. I added a leaf or two, then made a backing by covering a small circular piece of buckram with a scrap of fuzzy black fabric I had laying around. This hid all the messy bits of glue and stuff...then I attached an elastic band to keep it in place among my golden curls...

It can be worn two ways, with either the two red roses or the pink one in front. Flirty and fabulous!!

Witchy Wishes

2011-10-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

Party Bus!

2011-10-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hey! Who wants to ride the Halloween Roller Bowl Party Bus? It's a rockin' schoolbus we can drink on while we ride 16.4 miles from Belltown to the practically historic Lynnwood Bowl & Skate in fabulous Lynnwood, Washington! Come on, everybody! Our driver, Mr.McFondle, is waiting!

Don't look so worried! And don't bother buckling your safety belts, kidz...because there aren't any! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Par-ty Bus! Par-ty Bus!!

Let's get this party started! Pass the Fireball!

Everybody just loves getting their picture taken during the ride! Well, almost everybody...

Whew! We made it! That was a piece o'cake!

What'd I say?? Sheesh...you're kinda crabby for such a cute cupcake!

Big-time wrestler and bowler Ronald McFondle found his favorite ball of all! This one's for the kiddies!

But why bother bowling and skating when you could be drinking and eating yummy nachos? Rockin!

What?? Time to go already? We've gotta get the Bus back to Belltown by midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin? Hey, wait up!

The rhythm of the road puts everybody to sleep on the way home! All that bowlin', skatin' and Party-Bussin' can wear a kid out!

Well, that sure was fun, wasn't it? See ya next year!

Gone to BurlyCon

2011-10-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

There's not usually much glamour at Sea-Tac Airport's Doubletree Inn...until this weekend, when glittery, glamorous gals and guys gathered together for this year's BURLYCON!

Miss Indigo Blue has produced this 'Burlesque Education Convention' for the last four years, and it keeps growing, bringing together members and fans of the burlesque community to instruct and inspire each other. Classes, panels, speakers, vendors and parties in the space of four days...and although I only attended one of the four days, I was honored to be a part of it all this year!

That's right...your pal Gams was invited to speak on a panel called, of all things: Cougarfest - On Aging and Burlesque...along with Jo 'Boobs' Weldon of the New York School of Burlesque, the gorgeous Ophelia Flame, moderator Burgundy Brixx from Vancouver BC and burlesque legend Velvet Ice! We talked about a variety of subjects from body image to haircolor...but did anyone learn anything? Who knows? In any case, it was great fun meeting these fabulous ladies and, of course, it's always fun getting a chance to talk about myself!

Next, I jumped in on a class called "So's Yer Face!" so I could learn more about facial expression. I just can't seem to get mine right!

The best thing about this class was when I showed up, I realized I coordinated with instructors Randi Rascal and Heidi Von Haught! Here we are demonstrating our "happily surprised" expressions!

Later that evening we all donned our gay apparel and took over a penthouse suite. The coolest thing about the Doubletree was its glass elevator. I guess it felt a little bit like an amusement park ride, but since it looked over the decidedly un-picturesque airport surrounds, it was only a little bit amusing...anyway, the party just got bigger and bigger until we had to quit annoying the neighbors and move to a conference room. That's the sign of a successful party in my book.

The great thing about the burlesque community is that it's sort of a mutual admiration society...what with so many things to admire! Outfits, hairdos, makeup, and of course, breasts...oh! what breasts there were to behold! I could go on and on about all those breasts....

But to wrap up...I got my name on the official program and really rad badge, got some freebies, grabbed a few new snaps for my albums, saw some old friends and made some new ones...all with one thing in common besides false lashes:
We Love Burlesque!

Fanciful Footwear

2011-10-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

Fit for fantasy!

Genuine Warrior

Inside and Out

Metamorphosis

Ocean Flames

Conversation With Red

Black Carmen

Indian Summer

Danuta Tydor captures the Soul of the Sole!

Dirty Dancing

2011-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!

Meet Joe Black

2011-10-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

My pal Tamara wanted me to meet Joe Black and I enjoyed him so much I want you to meet Joe Black, too! Yes, I know we've all seen that really long movie with Brad Pitt and thoroughly enjoyed it because Brad is so easy on the eyes...but, no...the Joe Black I want you to meet today is an entirely different Joe Black...although, like Brad Pitt's Joe Black, it seems entirely possible that this Joe Black could be the Grim Reaper himself.

I always wondered why the Grim Reaper would choose to look like Brad Pitt anyway...unless maybe he saw Fight Club and loved Tyler Durden as much as I did...but, if you were Death and you could look like anybody you wanted, wouldn't you wanna look more bad-ass...like Benicio Del Toro, for instance?

I was surprised that God wanted to look like George Burns! I always wondered why...I mean, if you were God and you could look like anybody you wanted, wouldn't you wanna look more like Brad Pitt than George Burns? Or better yet, more bad-ass...like Benicio Del Toro, for instance?

Cover Girl

2011-10-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it certainly doesn't take the media long to get ahold of a story of a smalltown gal and her Blonde Ambition!

Good ol' TIME magazine was right on top of things...then ESQUIRE caught my act...by the way, NO RACCOONS WERE HARMED DURING THIS PHOTOSHOOT!

Thank goodness NEWSWEEK got my good side...and the article on Blonde Ambition and Bad Wigs makes good reading!

In this exclusive issue of GQ (Gams Quarterly?)...read all about Match Game's new season in its new location...Re-bar! Plu-u-u-s...the gayest guy in the NBA...who could it be?? a-a-a-and...why getting stoned will always be cool, daddy!

Bazooms!

2011-10-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

Are you a Bazoomer? You will be...once you get an eyeful of Miss Jennie Lee, The Bazoom Girl! This is a great routine with some very cute moves...found on my latest YouTube discovery, Vintage Burlesque! Enjoy!

Jennie Lee did a lot for the stripper community and the world of burlesque, creating The Exotic Dancers League in 1955 and founding Exotic World - Burlesque Hall of Fame. Back in the day, she had quite the following of fans who called themselves "Bazoomers"...the singing duo Jan and Arnie (pre-Dean) even wrote a song in her honor!

Junior Bazoomers

Unfortunately, life isn't always a bowl of pasties, and I'm sorry to say those beautiful Bazooms caused Jennie Lee's death from cancer in 1990.

Who's Afraid...

2011-10-12T18:50:00.000-07:00

...of the Big Bad Wig??

Attention, Please!

2011-10-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

In case there was any doubt...

Bijoux de Barbie!

2011-10-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

Oh... My... God!!!! Thank you, Barbie, for sacrificing your life to fashion...these pieces are to die for! And not for Barbie Girls only!

Darlings, there were too too many more that I adored! I can't wait 'til you discover Margaux Lange!

Shoes For To-Do's

2011-09-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

What are you going to-do to-day? Remember: proper footwear is essential! Here are some practical choices if you plan to...

...slip on a banana!

...shop for sex toys!

...duck and cover!

..kick back!

...go golfing!

...walk the dog!

...go grocery shopping!

...stick out your tongue!

...step out for coffee!

...drink Singapore Slings!

...live happily ever after!

All shoes except Cinderella's slipper designed by Kobi Levi

Real Housewives

2011-09-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

Darlings, I'm sorry to have neglected you...I've been elbow-deep in a sewing project this week, making a costume for this Friday night's Academy of Burlesque Alumni Spectacular : The Real Housewives of Burlesque!

This show is especially exciting, since I'll be sharing a stage with that absolutely fabulous boylesque sensation, Waxie Moon...as well as one of my favorite hosts, Elsa Von Schmaltz (Ernie's twin sister!)...and, of course, a bevy of burlesque beauties! Truth be told, I'm not sure how many of us are actually 'Real' housewives. I used to be one...not so much anymore, but those days of kiddie-coddling, floor-scrubbing and dinner-making still linger fondly in my memory......

So what else would I costume myself in but every housewife's favorite fashion...an apron? Not just any apron, mind you...but a sparkling pink satin one...inspired by a cake, of all things!

The pattern is a cute trompe-l'oeil design that appears to be a dress with an apron tied over it...perfect! I just happened to have a remnant of 'Schiapparelli Pink' satin charmeuse on hand, which I teamed up with pale pink satin and some glittery candy pink netting.

How could I resist these sparkly pale pink glass buttons??

I've gotta tell you, this project was pretty freakin' complicated for something seemingly as simple as an apron, but I hung in there...and the results are worth it! Here she is...fit for a princess!

She's much too pretty to do any Real housework...but then again, so am I!

Oh, and did I mention that I won't be wearing a stitch under this except possibly a teeny-tiny g-string in Shocking Pink? Back in the day, wearing this type of thing around the house might have saved me a marriage or two! Wink!

Inconceivable!

2011-09-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

The Cinémonde Girl

2011-09-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

I wanna live with the Cinémonde girl...
I could be happy the rest of my life with...
..The Cinémonde girl!

Lyrics stolen from Neil Young's Cinnamon Girl
Cinémonde covers found at beloved Agence Eureka!

Quite the Catch!

2011-09-21T01:07:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes...there's nothing I like better than an outdoorsman! I've always loved fishing shows...honestly, I just can't get enough of The Deadliest Catch...I could watch it 24/7! So imagine how thrilled I was to find this true-to-life, outdoor sport fishing documentary featuring none other than The Luminous Pariah, who is not only a lovely sight to behold, but quite the fisherman, it seems! Watch this and enjoy seeing the beauty of nature unfold!

It's All About The Icing

2011-09-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm...I'll take a half dozen!

Meanwhile, South of the Border...

2011-09-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

...it's much, much warmer...but the color of choice remains Red for classy costuming, as Carmen Miranda so deftly demonstrates!

If Memory Serves...

2011-09-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

One of my first experiences on the stage was deep in the darkest, dankest depths of Siberia. I had been recruited by a traveling dance troupe taking their show Red Tights on tour around the world. One fateful night, the singing Polar Bear came down with the Siberian flu and couldn't perform! They needed somebody small enough to fit into the suit, and I just happened to be the petite Cinderella they were looking for! As you can see from this memorable footage, it's not a very good fit, after all, and the other two bears totally upstage me! Laughable at best, but I've gotta tell you, I still get a chill and a thrill when I see those Red Tights!

The Dolls of Dollville

2011-09-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

They work hard for the money...

Fabulous fashion dolls found on Royalty.Girl ~ if you are a collector you must pay her a royal visit!

A Day In The Park

2011-09-06T02:00:00.000-07:00

Slow motion riders fly the colours of the day...

A bronze man still can tell stories his own way...

Listen, children, all is not lost, all is not lost, oh no, no!

Funny days in the park,
Every day's the Fourth of July!

People reaching, people touching,
A real celebration
Waiting for us all...

If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it?
Yes, I can!

And I've been waiting such a long time
For the day...

Photos by Debora Spencer, taken at a 'majickal place' during a video shoot for Joriah Goad's Manic Expressionism: The Life Infinato...I'll be sharing more of them soon!
Saturday In The Park lyrics by Chicago

Celebrity Cougar!

2011-09-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

One of my self-appointed duties as Belltown Betty is my weekly pilgrimage to that delightful neighborhood so dear to my heart...perhaps to take in a show, then walk the gamut of 2nd Avenue with its sidewalk patios and second-hand smoke, to see who's drinking what where with who! So who do you think Belltown Betty aka Gams Galore, Cougar-at-Large found drinking martinis al fresco with friends on the patio of Belltown's Karma Lounge on a warm Seattle Saturday night? None other than that Queen of Cougars, that Countess of Cradle-Robbers...Mary Kay Letourneau!

Remember her??

I'm happy to report she's come a long way from this scandalous snap...

She did her time, alright...seven and one half years if I remember correctly...I'm sure that extra six months was optimal for proper punishment...but anyway, thank goodness enough time has passed so all that silly scandal about rape is finally over...she ended up marrying her 'victim', after all, and taking his name...so these days she goes by Mary Kay Fualauu, and her husband, Vili, is a DJ...a pretty good one, too, considering he was spinning the swingin' sounds at the Karma that night...yeah, as if I was listening anyway, right?? I was too hella busy being excited about getting a Gams 'n' Pals pic with...I'm not ashamed to say it...one of my idols!

Doesn't she look great?? And I simply must thank one of my best pals, Jane, for having the nerve to go up and speak to our lady Mary about a photo op while my pal Tamara and I stood by gawking and shuffling our feet...Thanks, Janie! Mwah!

Simply Crafty

2011-09-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

Simply everybody knows I simply love crafting, so I was simply beside myself with excitement upon discovering Amy Sedaris' cute and colorful craft book, Simple Times, at my local library! This gem is simply chock-full of creative crafts suitable for simply anyone and everyone, even small children, pets, the elderly, the disabled, the bedridden...those who simply never thought they could manage crafting before! Also included is a section on Making Love...a subject which I simply never imagined would be included a craft book, but apparently crafting has a way of making some people simply horny...who knew?

Here's just a sample of one of the simply delightful crafts you will find in Amy's informative...and simply enchanting...book!

Check it out today and soon you'll be feeling simply crafty...and maybe even a little horny!

C'est Cicely!

2011-08-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

Time again for another thrilling Danse Apache! This one features a little lady by the name of Cicely Courtneidge, an actress and comedienne who has just become my newest idol! Look at her go!

How about that for some stage combat? What fortitude! Cicely started her career in 1911, performing in Edwardian musical comedies popular at the time. During WWI,she frequented those racy music halls, learning the comedy craft and playing in a variety of comic operas and revues. The fabulous thing about her is that she was able to maintain her popularity throughout most of the century, celebrating an amazing 70 years on the stage in 1971 and continuing on five more years until finally retiring. What a gal!

Here's what they thought of Miss Cicely when she hit her stride in 1918...There was about her a buoyancy and gaiety, an indefinable zest, which held the attention. With her tuneful voice, forceful humour, and vital personality, no one knew better how to get the right song across to an audience. Gee..that sounds alot like Gams Galore, wouldn'cha say? Heh.

Vintage V

2011-08-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Viva la variété!

Vices Versus Virtues

2011-08-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

...ou vice versa?

Plus trésor ici!

The Skin I'm In

2011-08-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Sweethearts, I simply couldn't stand another second passing by without sharing these sensational snapshots of me singing a song (Tipsy!) and sipping a Seven-and-Seven during last month's Seedy Side of Burlesque show while sporting some seriously scintillating snakeskin pyjamas in a sassy, swirling asymetrical style studded with sparkling sequins! Snazzy, wouldn'cha say?

This sparkly, snaky ensemble was a full-on Thrift-O-Gasm! for my pal Tamara, who unearthed it wandering through the thrift-store jungle...and captured it with me in mind! She wasn't expecting it, so it surprised the hell outta her...you know how snake encounters are...but thankfully her quick reflexes took over and she was able to snap it up in a matter of seconds, saving it from an uncertain fate! Thanks, Tamara!

And many, many thanks to Seattle photographer David Wulzen for these fah-bu-lous action shots taken from After Hours ~ The Seedy Side of Burlesque! He always has a way of capturing that Gams magic!

Something To Remember You By

2011-08-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, today and tomorrow...

These and more celluloid medallions can be found here...

The Sweet Taste of Victory!

2011-08-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

...and the trophy wasn't bad either!

Belltown Betty, Baby!

2011-08-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

Yes! It's true, my darlings! The coveted Belltown Betty jacket and crown are mine, all mine!

What an exciting night! What an unforgettable victory...what I can remember of it, anyway! The competition...fueled on alcohol and crack...was fierce, but I managed to squeak by on the popular vote, just edging out the oh-so-attractive "Snatch Crackaa" (my kooky pal Ruby Rouge) who immediately fell to her knees before me and pledged her allegiance, as you can almost see in this snippet of video...

And here's a victory photo of this year's Belltown Pageant royalty...Mr.Belltown ~ Kaleb Kerr and Belltown Betty ~ Gams Galore! As you can see, we are both thrilled beyond belief!

After spreading love around to all my loyal subjects, I managed to find some time to gather with friends at a local Belltown watering hole and celebrate, along with one of my very favorite people, my beautiful daughter, Teela!

Meet The G-Team!

2011-08-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

Capturing the Belltown Betty Crown should be a cinch this year...with the help of my dream-team, that is!

Madame Hollywood

2011-08-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

I am the story and I am the star, you know...
...like the Big Dippahhhh!

Dotty Betty

2011-08-10T23:38:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again, darlings...time for the 6th Annual Belltown Pageant!! This will be my third try competing for the title of Belltown Betty...an honor in itself, made even more appealing with an astounding array of cash and prizes, including the coveted Belltown Betty hand-painted jacket!

Between you and me, kidz, I gave it my all last year...what an act! And lately I've been clueless how to top that act...running dangerously high on stress and low on inspiration. So, I told myself....just relax! Don't try too hard this year...the whole production is shamelessly fixed anyway...the judges are too easily swayed by alcoholic favors and over the course of the pageant become too drunk to think logically or get a correct count on the ballots. Just be happy you've taken home 2nd Place trophies the last 2 years...the whole thing is just one big drunk joke!

Still, how could I stop myself from making a statement...and a costume...and trying too hard?

I composed an appropriately delightful ditty and dance for the occasion, set to a jazzy little rendition of that old favorite, Blue Moon. And as for the evening's costume, I designed a sexy dress out of what was supposed to be a top (McCall's M6078)...

I couldn't resist this stretchy black polyester with stunning silver polka-dots! This design has a cowl neck with silver leather loops...how great does it look with my silver leather trench?? Heigh-ho!

Add a pair of black spike heels with silver linings. Now all that's needed is a fedora with a silver band! Wish me luck at this year's Pageant, darlings...keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed and VOTE FOR GAMS!

IN GAMS WE TRUST

Cupcakes & You

2011-08-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

Friends, I'm here today to discuss a potentially serious problem...one I see growing among my friends and peers at an alarming rate...cupcake addiction and abuse! I feel so strongly about this problem that I've created an entirely new program to encourage everyone to avoid the dangers of cupcake abuse...I call it CARE...or Cupcake Abuse Resistance Encouragement.

Thankfully, I learned the hard way, and at a young age, to avoid cupcakes...that time I sneaked one to eat behind the garage, mom & dad caught me and made me eat the entire tin...I haven't touched one since. Not everyone is as lucky as me, though! My aversion to cupcakes means I'll never have to face the dark reality of cupcake abuse!

Yes, it's heartbreaking to watch close friends and well-respected colleagues willing to pay any amount of money for a fresh-made Snowball, Red Velvet, or Carrot Walnut; consuming one...perhaps more than one...in a matter of moments...greedily...lustfully...as if possessed!! Friends, take heed: cupcakes are a gateway treat...they can only lead to more baked-goods abuse! So the next time you feel yourself hopelessly tempted by sparkling pink sprinkles afloat on a creamy island of sweet white frosting, remember that cupcake addiction and abuse cause a sugar high...from there the addict quickly descends into madness...experiencing hallucinations, nervous tics, depravity and tooth decay!

Another fine feature from Golden Echo Films!

Vanity Flair

2011-08-06T13:49:00.000-07:00

Any of these gorgeous antique atomizers would look simply divine dressing up your vanity table, darlings! Can't you just see yourself sitting on your settee, spritzing your cares away with one of these beauties? Oh, la décadence!

Want one of your own?

Fun With Film

2011-08-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

My pal Dr.Steve likes to have fun with film...from pretty girls in bondage...

...to pretty girls in the bathtub...

to pretty girls with bongs...

Dr.Steve also likes to have fun with film at parties, shows and events, mixing up different cameras and lenses with different types of film and taking pics of his pals. It's always a mystery how they'll come out...but they're always surprising, colorful, FUN!...and famous for becoming Facebook profile pics! Here are a few favorites...

I'm Baaaaack!

2011-08-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your patience, my darlings...your Gams is back in your hearts and homes once again! Mwah!!

A Break with Blaze

2011-07-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

My darling darlings, while I take a very short break from bloggin', please enjoy the sexy antics of Blaze Starr! She's anything but blasé!

Find out more about Blaze and other vintage burlesque beauties by watching Behind the Burly-Q...a truly amazing documentary now available to watch instantly on Netflix! See you soon! XOXO

Sweet Melissa

2011-07-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been so quiet lately, darlings...fact is, I've been ill for the last 10 days and couldn't even bring myself to sit at the computer for more than a few minutes at a time...thankfully, I'm feeling much better today and ready to face the world!

Speaking of today...it happens to be my daughter's birthday and her name happens to be Melissa.

I've always been fond of the name, and knew it meant "honeybee", but I never knew it had such a rich, mythological background...one which reaches back even before Ancient Greece! I found a ton of info on Wikipedia, of course, including this lovely old poem...an ode to Melissa's birthday by Thomas Blacklock, a Scottish poet from the late 1700s.

This one's for you, Sweet Melissa! XOXO

ODE, ON MELISSA'S BIRTH-DAY

"Ye nymphs and swains, whom love inspires
With all his pure and faithful fires,
Hither with joyful steps repair;
You who his tenderest transports share
For lo ! in beauty's gayest pride,
Summer expands her bosom wide ;
The Sun no more in clouds inshrin'd,
Darts all his glories unconfin'd;
The feather'd choir from every spray
Salute Melissa's natal day.

Hither ye nymphs and shepherds haste,
Each with a flow'ry chaplet grac'd,
With transport while the shades resound,
And Nature spreads her charms around;
While ev'ry breeze exhales perfumes,
And Bion his mute pipe resumes;
With Bion long disus'd to play,
Salute Melissa's natal day.

For Bion long deplor'd his pain
Thro' woods and devious wilds in vain;
At last impell'd by deep despair,
The swain preferr'd his ardent pray'r;
His ardent pray'r Melissa heard,
And every latent sorrow cheer'd,
His days with social rapture blest,
And sooth'd each anxious care to rest.
Tune, shepherds, tune the festive lay,
And hail Melissa's natal day.

With Nature's incense to the skies
Let all your fervid wishes rise,
That Heav'n and Earth may join to shed
Their choicest blessings on her head;
That years protracted, as they flow,
May pleasures more sublime bestow ;
While by succeeding years surpast,
The happiest still may be the last;
And thus each circling Sun display,
A mere auspicious natal day."

Fluff-O-Rama!

2011-06-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

Hello, darlings! I just couldn't wait to share this delightful video of The All-New Anita Goodmann Experience Tax-Day Special...featuring many fine performances by many fine artists in the midst of mass mayhem...ehem! Don't miss Yours Truly singing her dedication to Miss Anita!

Perhaps I should explain that lyrical line, "the infamous Tranny Shroud". You see, there was this one SALON night awhile back at the Pensione Nichols (as you know, my fave party of the week!)...and everyone's favorite Belltown bartender, my pal Babe of Belltown, was mixing up Manhattans that would have made Lady Liberty keel over...or at least bring her to her knees! Anyway, the last thing I remember was stumbling into one of the Pensione suites with Anita...carrying on some deep, meaningless conversation (picture Edward & Bella if that helps)...a little liplock...and the next thing you know, Anita began weeping into the sheets! Apparently my kisses do that to people. Who knew? Anyway, her perfectly-applied mascara, foundation and lipstick made a perfect impression...not only on me, but on pristine white hotel sheets...hence "The Shroud of Tranny"! Frankly, I can't remember much about that night myself...it's all one big smear...but as far as I know, "the infamous Tranny Shroud" remains in Babe's safekeeping...unless, of course, he's finally decided to take my advice and try selling it on eBay.

Who I'd Like To Meet More Of...

2011-06-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

The kinky, the kitschy, the cornballs and clowns...

Pagans, performers and peers...

The oddballs, the outcasts, the out-of-the-ordinary...

Colorful crazies and queers...

The fetishists, faghags, the fearless, the fools...

Artists and anarchists, too...

People whose one rule is breaking the rules...

Oh, you know...people just like me and you!

Happy Pride!!

Photos swiped from Flickr

Don't Forget Dad!

2011-06-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

The good thing about fathers on Fathers Day...unlike mothers on Mothers Day...is that they don't really seem to notice, or care, whether you give them a gift or not. Yet deep down inside you know Dad would be pretty darn tickled if you tried to make a great impression on him for a change! May I suggest one of the following gifts that are sure to please...

If you're not worried about giving Dad his gift today, perhaps you could give a corny card to tide him over while you order him his very own Bad Dad custom-designed Kawasaki!

If you don't have that kind of cash on hand...or a golden motorcycle just isn't practical, for whatever reason...then perhaps these golden money bag cufflinks would be a more appropriate gift for that grand o' guy! Especially impressive at poker parties, strip clubs, and all-night casinos...if only Mom would let Dad go to those kinds of places...

Don'tcha know every darn Dad in the US of A dreams of a custom-made bowling pin, whether he's a bowler or not! This dynamite Daddy-O one is beautifully done and costs a fortune, but with a little imagination and a smidge of artistic talent you could design a special one for your Daddy! Didn't he teach you to be resourceful?

In a hurry and need something tonight? This tempting bacon-topped apple pie is quick 'n' easy! Obviously you don't have time to bake the pie from scratch right now...but it doesn't matter...Dad won't notice! Run right down to any bakery and pick up a fresh-baked apple pie, or if you must, find a decent frozen one. Fry eight slices of bacon and arrange them atop the pie in a basket-weave pattern. If you've been forced to choose a frozen pie, it can be baking in the oven while you fry the bacon to a golden brown...either way you score!!

In an even bigger hurry? How about a big wad of cash? Every Dad appreciates money...by George, he's worked his whole life to put food in your belly and send you to college...now it's time to show him you've learned the fine art of reciprocation! This gift looks especially nice if presented with the largest bill showing. Dad will be so thrilled he might even spring for dinner and drinks!

Happy Fathers Day to all you adorable Dads out there!
Mwah!

These Things Happen

2011-06-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

It must be something about the wig...because this totally reminds me of my last Sunday brunch! They all laughed when I said I could do the whole vodka-melon in one sitting...but I showed them!

Ladies Who Lunch

2011-06-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

Lady Geraldine...

Lady Josephine...

Lady Brown...

Lady Blue...

Lady Simone...

Found in this magical place...they do custom-made work, too! I am saving my pennies as of today for my own mysterious Miss Gams Galore marionette!

Tube Top

2011-06-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

This totally reminds me of last Saturday when Anita Goodmann came over and wanted to borrow my weed-wacker! I don't want to say things got ugly...so let's just say it wasn't pretty...but blonde rivalry never is, my darlings...especially when it comes to power tools!

Made in Japan?

2011-06-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Made-believe Japanese vintage ad characters...wonderfully weird!... by Juan Molinet

It's A Bitch To Be A Bastard

2011-06-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well I gotta tell ya, I've been busier than a stone fox at a hen party lately! Tonight is the season finale of the The All-New Anita Goodmann Experience, and Anita has been running me and the rest of the cast absolutely ragged with rehearsals every night this week! She's quite the taskmistress, you know...notorious for cracking the whip if anybody gets outta line! In fact, I'm a little embarrassed to confess this, but something I said at last night's rehearsal must've pissed her off because I spent a good part of the evening writing 152 times on the dry erase board..."The Show is Always Right...The Show is Always Right..." Okay! I've learned my lesson and I'll never do whatever it was I did again!

The good news is that I've composed the most wonderful song that I'll be introducing tonight! I've set the lyrics to this great old Dean Martin favorite, Everybody Loves Somebody!

A little background...you may not know that I, Gams Galore, was orphaned once...an absolutely adorable child with straight, jet-black hair, left on the doorstep of a hair salon, where I was taken in for a complete makeover and fashion styling...it shaped my life, as you can imagine! Anyway, friends, I've never forgotten my roots...so to speak. My life's dream has always been to "give back" by bringing joy to the lives of young mothers in trouble and orphaned children! As I told you, tonight I'll be reuniting Anita and Cassie with their long-lost offspring, and I'm hoping these simple but sincere lyrics will warm the hearts of everyone involved!

It's a bitch to be a bastard sometimes
Goes to show you life's not always kind...
You know you've got a mother somewhere
Tho' she may be hard to find...

It's a bitch to be a bastard sometimes
Your daddy was a dick and so much less...
I guess it just goes without saying
Your life is a mess!

If I were to have my druthers, I'd arrange for every girl and every boy
To reunite with their forgotten mothers or find a substitute they might enjoy

It's a bitch to be a bastard sometimes
And although every dream may not come true,
Money makes it well worth trying
to find some Mom for you.

Fabulesque!

2011-06-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Here's a tasty confection for you, my darlings...
Just a li'l sumpthin-sumpthin I found while surfing for fun stuff to add to my Tumblrs...have you visited them lately? Mwah!

Blonde Ambulation

2011-06-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Over-achieving my ambitious blonde fitness goals will be a snap in these puppies!

Get 'em here!

Don't Mess With Mademoiselle!

2011-05-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

Yet another thrilling Danse Apache...and this time the lady gets the last laugh!

Who are The Crazy Gang anyway?

Peeper-Poppers

2011-05-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

Pick, click and feel a little sick!

Keep 'em poppin' here!

Hoozya Mama?

2011-05-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

So I was dinkin' around YouTube and discovered what I believe could be the finest, most touching song about mothers ever written! Say...why not call your Mom right now and ask her to watch with you??

Amazing Masks

2011-05-24T19:12:00.000-07:00

See these and many more beautiful designs here!

Fast Fashion

2011-05-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

Last night's Seattle Erotic Art Festival was one helluva swanky, spanky party...I've never seen so many corsets in one room...and this glamorous gal was sportin' one of 'em! Matter of fact, I'm terriblehhh proud of the costume I threw together at the last minute with only pennies to spare!

Fortunately, I just happened to have some beautiful fabric laying around...sheer black georgette with a shimmering velvety red rose print...

...which I turned into a long split skirt. I cut a couple extra scraps of it and covered the cups of my black strapless bra...just a few hand stitches around the edge so I can undo it later.

I took another scrap and wrapped it around a little plastic hat form to make a tiny pillbox with a big red feather!

Next, my trusty black satin corset that I got at least ten years ago...one of those wardrobe investments that just keeps paying off! Black fishnets...long black gloves...my favorite boots...a vintage black velvet capelet...sparkly red earrings...red lipstick...a glass of white wine....et voilà!

Gamalamadingdong!

Rapture-Ready!

2011-05-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Flowing White Robe: check! Doc Martens: check! If you need me after tonite, I'll be hangin' up here with Joey, Kurt and Sid! Simply heavenly, darlings!

Say It With Roses

2011-05-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

...when the going gets tough!

Art by Brian M.Viveros!

Just Another Night...

2011-05-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

...at SALON!! Yay!

I'm the one in the pillbox hat!

Losing My Marbles?

2011-05-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

I could have sworn I posted this already...and I don't remember scrubbing it...could I have a phantom blog-thief? Or am I losing my marbles??

I could have sworn I just told you about the outcome of our little Mother's Day prank...how our friendly neighbor Brian rose to the occasion and graffiti'd his shirt as we had his fence? I just know I did!

And then I put up a smooch pic...like this one...

One fashion tip I forgot to mention before...did you know you can turn a pink bob wig into an unappealing pink mullet simply by wearing it upside-down?

Good Answer!

2011-05-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

Introducing my newest Tumblr page...
Good Answer...Filling in the blanks of life...doesn't that have a pleasant ring to it? Enjoy an ongoing selection of orange answer cards once used as celebrity answers on my favorite local gameshow, Match Game Belltown! From whimsical to raunchy, you're sure to find the answer you're looking for today!

Sometimes a question is the answer...or is it the other way around?